How Are You Holding Up?

How are you coping during this pandemic?

How are you taking care of your mental health?

Well when this quarantine happened, I knew I’d hold up pretty well. Aside from my introvert self, I’ve been staying home most of the time for almost a year now, after I lost my job. I’ve been resting from a 3 year-worth burn out, grieving over a loss of a friend and aunt, dealing with my own issues, breaking bad old habits, repairing my fucked up body clock, and many more. 2019 was a turning point to heal and find myself and take care of my psychological and physical well-being.

However, since the lockdown on different cities and ECQ had been imposed, to be honest, I feel like some people have gone more stupid than before. Lurking on social media, debating on different political views and hashtags on ousting the president, bashing whoever they deemed deserving of those harsh words, complaining of how long this is gonna take, simple instructions of staying at home disobeyed, rallying in the wrong time, and so, so much more. I really think this pandemic proves how hypocrite, undisciplined, selfish and superficial people can be. I know you’d agree with me.

I personally think, that there’s so much more to do than just wait on how it’s all gonna end. It’s just that some people are so hooked up on counting the days of ending this pandemic. We’re already in a war zone with an unseen enemy. And I think the least we could do to help all the front liners is to stay at home, which as you can see some idiots still can’t follow. *don’t go telling me I’m privileged and some people out there are blah blah blah or I’m gonna bite your head off*  

There are a lot of things to do, like whatever you can during this crisis. Such as being kinder to others, and to yourself. Despite the negativities surrounding this pandemic, it’s not bad to actually see the brighter side of it. Like a way to cope and keep your sanity intact. If until now, you still can’t hold up of being quarantined, I hope this could help you.

Do Something New. Have you ever wanted to try playing the guitar? Or been planning to read a book because you’re no bookworm? Wanna try watching anime ‘coz you wonder why some are crushing on the anime characters? Or like how it feels to clean your own room ‘coz your mom always does it? Now is the time! Haha. Do what you’ve never done before, or something you’ve planned trying but never had the chance to. At least this way, you can practice some new skills, new hobbies, or even discover that it’s just not for you as how I discovered I like to dance, but dancing doesn’t actually like me haha. Explore in any way you can. Don’t limit yourself. If you haven’t watched porn, then go! No one’s gonna judge you for watching, but please do it with discretion hahaha. But kidding aside, it’s also one way to know more about yourself and what you want and can do.

As for me, I didn’t usually wake up to cook and get things started. Having a fast paced life and going through a slump in the past year, all I did was be lazy and have bad sleeping habits. But ever since I saw how my brother disastrously cooked omelet last March, I didn’t notice I was already waking up earlier than before, cooking breakfast for the family, doing other chores until I hole myself up in my room to relax. It is definitely something new that I didn’t know would become my everyday routine. Doing something new also takes commitment. If you don’t get your ass up to push yourself and get the hang of it, then that only means it’s another fleeting moment to get out of your boredom.

Be productive. Lurking on social media actually takes more time than you are aware of. You saying 2 more minutes in reality, would take you hours until you notice that its past noon. Now that we are on ECQ, most people are on social media. Earlier days, stories are posted from tiktoks, bullshitting the government, to bashing Sam Morales and other people, starting on pointless arguments like who’s the worst author. If only some could do something productive rather than talking shit to people even to the slightest thing and hypocritically sharing righteous posts when you can’t even walk the talk, I think all can practice being kinder while being sane in a productive way. You can start healthy discussions with strangers if you want, but if your aim is to start a pointless virtual fight to make a point, you better turn that phone off.

You know you could actually build a routine slowly, and the next moment you won’t even notice, it becomes automatic. It also helps you to be sane, and feel satisfied. Being productive doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do what you WANT. It’s also something what you HAVE to do, and still takes commitment to do that. It keeps you from dwelling on to negativities, and turning it to something proactive for your well-being.  

I wouldn’t say practice your time management ‘coz even now I’m still bad at it haha. However, I could proudly say I’ve committed myself to something more productive other than doing absolutely nothing *which I’m so good at*.

Last year I’d sleep and wake up really late. My eating schedule was fucked up. I was in a slump. I wouldn’t even touch my books like how I do them now haha. It was a crazy, roller coaster year *despite me being jobless haha*. So when 2020 came, I told myself, this is my year. Amidst Covid-19, I would still say it is. I’ve been practicing some new good habits, and when quarantine happened, I’ve been slowly progressing like waking up earlier, cooking breakfast, doing my blog and so on.

Also, keep yourself from constantly using your social media. Try doing something without involving your phone too much. I actually gave myself a week of deactivating some of my social media accounts especially when it became too toxic and suffocating. It helped me on accomplishing what I had to do. So when I activated them again, I didn’t feel so much pull to using them. But when I noticed that I’m slipping back to old habits like scrolling for almost one hour on social media or like waking up late again, I discipline myself to keep everything consistent.

If you’re the type to make a list of what you want and have to do, it would really help remind you of your goals for the day. But as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t make lists on what I have to do. When I tried listing “no drinking of coffee!”, I only lasted for 5 days. However, if I put my mind on something like spontaneously washing my shoes and stuff pillows, to insert in my daily routine, I’d really do it. Except no more to “not drinking coffee.” After all the chores, I go to my room and do my write-ups or read a book.

All your plans will be of no use either if you always say “later,” or like “I’m so tired.” Maybe tomorrow. Remember, do not put off for tomorrow what you can do today. Even the simplest thing could make you productive. It actually takes courage and patience to get your ass moving. But if you push yourself and put your mind to it, it’s really worth it. As they say, great things take time. Even in quarantine.

Relax. I mentioned about putting off what you can do today, tomorrow. It’s actually fine to do it once. Give yourself a little slack. We all get tired too. But you have to remind yourself not to slack off too much. There’s nothing wrong when you feel like being lazy from your daily routine. As if your motivation has worn off and you feel irritated ‘coz you’re doing the same thing over and over again. We all deserve to relax despite staying indoors. When you work your ass off too much you end up getting irritated and hating what you’re doing. You don’t have to be too hard on yourself. This is a way to take care of your psychological and physical well-being too. If you give time to being in touch and aware of yourself, you’ll notice the tension all over your body. Release that tension, breathe and relax.

When there’s something I don’t feel like doing, I always look for an alternative to keep me from being bored, like staring into space sprawled on my bed. I dunno ‘bout you but I find it relaxing lol.

My blog and books are not only things that I feel productive with. It’s also my way of relaxing from my daily routine. I do it alternately or when I feel like it. I write random drafts for my blog then leave it cold for the next edit, but I make it to a point to post every week no matter what day and what I feel like posting. And if I don’t feel like writing, I open my book and read. Or I watch anime, kdrama or any movies. I do a routine for the house and family, and another routine for my “me time.”

During this pandemic, I’ve really delayed everything that I should be doing, part time job, processing documents, grad school preps, and so on. If it was my past self, I would really get frustrated and would think hard what I should do next. I lose it sometimes haha. But to my present self, I’ve actually learned to get ahold of myself when things are beyond my control.  I’ll just relax for the time being because I know I won’t have this the moment all of this is over. Problems are always there, it’s just a matter of perspective.

Working from home or not, pause. Take a breather. This is a time for you to pause and meditate. That there’s nothing wrong when you’re in a slow pace. It’s not a sin to give yourself a break. This only means you have to also learn to take your time. There are things we can’t control, and all we have to do is go with the flow, and try to do something more like napping or even talking to your family.

There are times that we really do get tired despite being automatic or loving what we do. So just relax and release that tension in your muscles. It’s a way to distract you from overthinking. Like finding a spot inside your home where you could feel totally at ease, or where you could just take a nap or sip your cup of coffee/tea. Or maybe watch those vlogs or oddly satisfying videos. Or do absolutely nothing.

We are so used to a fast paced life that we forget to even breathe.  

Quality Time and Self-care. This pandemic reminds us to hold our family and friends closer to us. We’ve been busy out there that we tend to take everything around us for granted until we regret it one day. Quality time doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hug each other every single time. Conversations. It’s one way to spend time with your family. If you’re in a long distance with your family or friends, you can video call them, or have a chat with them from time to time. You can tell them how much you miss them and be sad. It’s also one way to acknowledge your emotions.

My family and I have our own routines and relaxation at home, but when we eat, take breaks in between or before we have our rosary, we converse about anything. From serious to nonsense things. My family has always been close, but it feels like were spending more time with each other compared before, where everyone’s busy. We get to laugh and tease each other, call out and discipline one another. We get to discover more of ourselves too. Stories we share from different experiences. It’s also one way to keep each other sane at home.

I’m not one to chat first or like spend time chatting friends, but when I feel like it, I stop what I’m doing and talk with them. Conversations are really therapeutic these days especially that most of us are staying home and some are not used to being at home. It’s one way to exhaust those emotions and thoughts to keep yourself from overthinking and being trapped in it. You also get to catch up and encourage each other more. I even got to catch up with some friends even if I’m not that active on social media.

Quality time doesn’t only mean with your family, it’s also with yourself. To take care of your inner being. We pressure ourselves too much with expectations, overthink, and forget to even take a look of how we are doing. We absorb too much even of the superficial things. One way to start with your self-care is this: care less, and do more. Stop dwelling on the negativity and see what you can do to make yourself better. Like tweaking your perspectives and doing something creative that could be therapeutic for you. Grab a book, spend time with your pets, or whatever it is to pamper yourself during this quarantine. This is a time for you to take care of yourself.

Seek help. During this time our sanity could get really shaken up. You know, this quarantine could trigger some mental breakdowns. Being quarantined means you’d feel more alone than ever, and critically affect you as whole. Expressing yourself in social media, not being able to talk to anyone could make you lose your sanity. It is toxic and unhealthy.  And we don’t want that. No one is forcing you to stop using social media, but I would like to remind you that using social medial as an outlet every single time won’t help. This is the time for you to muster up your courage and reach out to people who could really help you. I mean I know that most of us don’t like to express ourselves because we feel like we’re toxic or disturbing people who might be able to help us. But getting ahead when you haven’t even tried yet and denying how you feel would eat you alive.

Dwelling on negativity itself doesn’t help much in coping up during this crisis. And that’s actually one way how I’m also trying to hold up. It doesn’t really mean that feelings are being invalidated, it’s like trying to use that emotion to something proactive, something productive for your well-being. And thinking that you could hold up on your own actually makes it worse since it could possibly trigger more negatively. This pandemic might be a war zone we are experiencing now, but flipping the coin to see a better perspective helps us to also strengthen our minds and be there and be kinder to one another. It’s not wrong to ask for help either. Sometimes people who want to help you are also ones who are waiting for you to grab the hand they’re reaching out ‘til you’re ready. It’s always a balance. We ask for help when we can’t take it no more. We rely on ourselves to strengthen our souls too. However, when someone wants to help you and you’re not doing anything for yourself, you’re not really helping yourself.

If you have someone whom you really trust, then elicit readiness and share how you feel. If you have someone who’s been there for you despite how confused you are with yourself, then all the more they need to know how you’re doing. You can’t be helped if you don’t want them to help. It takes two to tango. As what they say, your worst enemy is yourself. I really believe that the only person who could heal yourself, is you. And it takes so much courage. The people surrounding you are your support system, the ears you’d ask to listen and understand as you exhaust your emotions, the shoulder to lean on. Your guide. Yet, they do not solve your problems. The one who can truly help you, is yourself.

  

This is something I would like to tell you, yes, you who is reading this: You matter, you are not alone,
and I am thankful that you are alive. Do not give up. I believe you can do it, but do not forget that a helping hand is waiting for you to grab it.

If you know someone, or you are going through something, search and refer to Your Safe Space in Facebook (Cebu-based freedom wall to share how you feel anonymously, and a referral link is there for professional help) and iamalive.org (international website with trained volunteers for those who need help) *not sponsored but I do hope you reach out to them if you think you/someone need/s help*

I guess that’s all I can give. I really hope this would help you. If not, uh okay? Haha. But really, take care of yourself. Hold your family closer and don’t dwell too much on negativity. This too shall pass. All of you are always in my prayers even if I’m not that religious.

Writer,

Thin Girl