A Night with Cockroaches

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Admit it, you hate cockroaches. Well who doesn’t!

Especially when their smell is overpowering that even when you spray air freshener in your room, the smell is just ugh. Believe me, I’ve been there. Like the moment I wrote this, I just had that encounter and voila, who would’ve thought these vermin would give me such ideas. 

Well let me tell you a story of my quest with these vermin.

When I was in college, my thesis mate--who was the only flower among us thorns, ran away faster than I did when a cockroach inside our co-member's room went whooshing around us. And I was like “what a sissy!” Well to be honest, I hate flying cockroaches too.

Fast forward to the quarantine, I was having an all-nighter watching Mob Psycho 100 inside my room at 1 am so I could proceed to season 2 the next day. Suddenly, a familiar smell wafted through the air, especially when my fan was on. A cockroach came crawling around my bed and I went all crazy trying to hit it as much as I could but it ran away. So I was like, “maybe it’s gone outside now.” Then, for about 30 minutes to one hour, I smelled its overpowering smell again and felt that it was just near me. When I felt my hand on my head and AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH IT WAS SITTING ON MY HEAD! I was in frenzy again and felt my head and ASDFGHJKL!! It even laid an egg on top of my head!!!! The audacity!!!

We had our walls painted with yellow on the bottom 

I was murderous, but hated it when its splattered, so I grabbed the insecticide outside and sprayed it closely to its body, A DIRECT HIT! But that wasn’t the end, it was still moving! So I sprayed it again and it looked dizzy but still a bit active. I know what you’re thinking: you could’ve just hit it with a slipper! I know, but I don’t like its dead body splattered on my floor and I thought it was gonna take so much work for me to clean the aftermath. But I spoke too soon. I actually did more work than just simply hitting it with my slipper. Before it went outside my room, it got a little bit dizzy on the yellow bottom part of my wall---

Trivia: having yellow painted on the bottom part of your walls could cause temporary blindness/dizziness to pests inside your home like cockroaches. Proven and tested.

going back--- but then I can’t have it roaming inside my room. I don’t remember how it got out of my room but it looked like a dying character fighting for its life outside my brother's door. So I left it out there, dying.

It didn’t end there. My room reeked of insecticide and the instructions said, "leave the room closed for 15 minutes”. But I didn’t spray it once, I rather did it a few times. So in order to get the smell of insecticide and its effect gone, I opened my windows and door with my fan on just so the smell won’t be trapped inside my room. I was already picturing myself out being awake ‘til the crack of dawn, or sleeping outside if the smell didn’t subside. Fortunately, my parents noticed all the ruckus and told me to close my room and sleep in their room instead.

I went through all that just to have it die outside my brother's room for almost one hour. It died 15 minutes later after I sprayed on it but I had to deal with the aftermath for almost an hour. I know. Crazy. My mom thought the same: that I could’ve just slapped it with my slipper real quick than spraying it with insecticide again and again.

I thought that was then end but it seemed to be the mating season or peak season for cockroaches. Even when we were having our rosary. They really get to distract us from what we were doing. May dad would suddenly get up and hit them on the floor. My brother would just silently get up with two scratch papers then grab it quick. So I asked him why he does that. He told me he hated splatters. And with that, I found a new murderous path.

I practiced what my brother was doing. Then without noticing, I’ve learned his technique. So I was writing this when something black caught my eye. Between my bookshelf and dresser is another vermin that’s about to ruin my night again. So I waited for it to come out a little bit and hit it with my slipper. It ran but before it got to hide I threw my slipper again and then it was on its back. You get the picture with its feet moving in the air ugh gross. I got hasty when it got on its feet again so I hit it again and since I didn’t have scratch paper, I successfully tore 2 pages from my notebook. It went behind my door and there, I grabbed it with 2 papers on my hand, its body crushing in my clenched hand with its overwhelming smell and threw it in the trash bin. I just cleaned my room and another vermin just invaded my peaceful night once again.

I just cleaned my room for goodness sake! I sprayed alcohol where the crime scene had taken place. So I sprayed air freshener so its smell would subside, but it really left a mark with its strong smell.

So if you’re just like me who hates splattered dead bodies of roaches on the floor you could do this:

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Step 1: Throw your slipper at the cockroach as if disarming it without really killing it. *if it gets up just throw your slipper again* Remember not to kill it.

Step 2: While its injured, get 2 scratch papers immediately and use them to grab the cockroach. Do not push your hand too hard on the floor or any surface as to avoid splatters. Then squish it and throw it to your trash bin.

Step 3: Make sure you wash your hands and sanitize with alcohol afterwards. The smell is too overpowering so you can spray your air freshener or perfume across the room. You can also spray alcohol on the surface where you’ve managed to grab it.

And there you have it. Make sure you’re always ready with scratch papers *which I always forget." Good luck on your quest!

That my friend is another senseless story you might’ve related to. Have fun crushing them...or not!
 
Writer,
Thin Girl